disclaimer: READ EVERYTHING. Skipping is not allowed.

How come, you act like this
Like you just don’t care at all

Naiinis ako .. kasi hindi niya napapansin na nagta2mpo ako sa kanya. It makes me  angry. i think he’s taking it as my joke. i’m hurting kc balewala. ganito pla pag may pain sa dibdib o nahu2rt..

have you felt the feeling of being locked inside an elevator for an hour and the only air you could inhale is your exhaled CO2 ?

ganun. parang i can’t breathe. i can’t take the air that i’m supposedly breathing.. (naks emo. hahaha, yuck camille, hindi bagay..hehe) pero honestly, hindi talaga ako makahinga. (arrrgh. ayoko ng ganito.. lalong hindi ako nagiging ok.)

sometimes i think i’m only taken for granted…

i really don’t want to elaborate why i have come up with this thought. wag kang mapilit. please lang. utang na loob. hehe. pero SOMETIMES is just SOMETIMES. hanggang dun lang.

pag dumadating ako sa ganitong state of mind, iniisip ko nlang na mali ako. hindi ganun, kc may valid reasons naman ung tao; tao din lang naman cya, hindi sya perfect. at higit sa lahat, i should not expect for something in return. basta magmamahal ako kahit na sumobra pa sa pagmamahal niya para sa akin.

Hey, listen to what we’re not saying
Let’s play, a different game than what we’re playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

i am not really vocal with my feelings because i don’t want this be the reason of a BIG FIGHT that may lead to a break-up.  HINDI AKO NAGSASABI tpos ako pa ung may ganang magtampo. mali din naman un. cyempre hindi naman cya manghuhula. at LALAKI cya. we’re differently trained in social aspect. this is reality, and we’re both facing it. sana hindi nya iniisip na laging joke lang o kung hindi nga, sana gumawa naman siya ng way para hindi na ako nakakaramdam ng ganito. ALL I NEED IS SINCERITY. sabi nga ni FPJ, napupuno din ang salop. hehe.

It’s not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day

Tao lang ako.  may puso at nasasaktan din (another one, haha).. i really don’t understand myself why i’m feeling this. i’m in the point of thinking of some action. pero ayoko naman nung naisip ko. masasaktan lang ako lalo. erase erase erase! i love him. and i mean it.

what i’m thinking now is. . .

isa lang itong emotional challenge para sa akin and i also consider this as a test of my love for him. na-realize ko lang na mahal na mahal ko lang talaga siya kaya siguro i’m hurting this way. Para hindi na ako mag-icp ng kung ano pa man, i’m thinking of our moments together and sweet little things he did for me (naalala ko na naman ung 1st anniversary namin.. kinikilig ako. hehe. ).

Baka siya din may tampo and he opts not to tell me. same reason as mine.

ito nalang ung pinang hahawakan kong batayan para hindi ko na masyado isipin ung tampo ko sa kanya. Alam ko sa sarili ko na may mga bagay din naman akong nagawa na ikatatampo niya pero hindi lang niya sinasabi.

basta ang alam ko, kahit na my tampo ako, i got the feeling of needing him more and more and make our relationship stronger. Que sera sera.

HE is my ETHEREALITY.

he’s my heaven in reality.

lakas ng loob ko mag blogpost dito. kasi alam kong hindi naman niya ito titingnan. he prefer reading other blogs. hehe. so pag nabasa niya, OH MY VEGETABLES. haha

too much for being vocal. i need my sleep na.