Kamilogy in Ethereality

Camille Bayarcal and the late PNP Chief Isidoro Relativo

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When my lolo died, I did not cry much probably because I was young then (and we didn’t have enough time to spend with him because he’s in Bicol). I was only 7, I think. Besides, he’s not the typical adorable lolo who pampers his grandchildren. My lolo was a notorious disciplinarian, of course, he is a PNP Chief. I got to the habit of talking in English (then, haha)because of him. He insisted on me and my brother eating alone at a certain age and not spoon-fed by the yaya. In retrospect, I don’t know if we (i and my kuyas, of course) were my lolo’s favorites. People would, of course, be inclined to say that his favorite is kuya bimbong (auntie nini’s eldest son) because he is the first male (first na, male pa) grandchild but I contest that in my mind (haha) because from the very few memories I have of my childhood, I felt that he adored me, especially in that picture. haha. My fondest memory is of him constantly looking for his arm band and he asked me if i have seen it. Unfortunately, i didn’t gave him any arm band he’s looking for.

In a way, I guess I miss my lolo. He’s a true blue disciplinarian but I always feel some safety when I remember him. It’s like feeling that no one else can hurt you because he will protect you. I am also proud of him because he is handsome (haha, that’s why we have good genes:P) and because he has never been the type to compromise his principles. He did not become a wealthy man because he did not want to be eaten up by the system. Instead, he spent his life being wealthy with friends and being honest to the people important to him.

10 years after your death, I look at our picture and I begin seeing it as if it’s the first time i see it. I look at it with different eyes and I finally understand what it is to miss someone who is a part of your life but someone you can never bring back.

Cheesy but…I miss you, wuwu. (I actually call him “wuwu”.)